WHY DO WE FORGIVE?

A popular definition of forgiveness is: restoration of relationship and not just wiping the state clean. If you rebuild your relationship with your wife or parent and do it for God mainly or solely for God then it is not about building your relationship with them. Forgiveness is essentially atheist but because it is good it has been hijacked by the believers.
 
When we ask why we forgive we see that forgiveness implies that if God forgives then he is evil and is not God but insane.
 
Why do we forgive?

* Because the past cannot be undone.

People only forgive when the enemy is sorry but this says people should be pardoned even when they are not. The implication is that people should not will or want them to be hurt for their crime for the wrong cannot be helped anymore. This is actually condoning or rewarding the crime and it makes punishment wrong. It is making it best for the criminal to look for this reward. If the crime should be rewarded partly or fully, then the criminal needs compensation for being punished in which case he should never have been punished in the first place.
 
This is not really forgiveness because it is really saying that a bad act is made harmless and made nothing by the mere fact that the perpetrator cannot change it.
  
* We forgive not for the sake of the enemy but because our anger and hate hurt only us and we want to stop the bad feeling.

Forgiveness like this is selfish so it is just dropping the horrible feelings but retaining the uncaring attitude towards the enemy. You are not doing it for the enemy so you still couldn’t care less about them though you may trick yourself to think that you do. It isn’t really forgiveness at all. And it selfishly rewards yourself for your uncharitable attitude by getting rid of the non-essential distress and anger so it is an affront to the enemy.
 
Forgiveness that is only practiced for not forgiving has so many bad results does not sound much like real forgiveness. It is like accepting an apology from somebody who has victimised you because you will lose your job if you don't. Yet all people who have suffered greatly at the hands of another only forgive to avoid the bad results!
 
If you really cannot help being angry and hating a person but you would not harm them because you think it is wrong to then you have forgiven them. You do not consent to the bad feelings therefore they are not your fault. Forgiveness only requires that you abandon resentment when you can. If you find the resentment does you good then you could still say you forgive for you do not hold it to hurt the person but for another reason.

It is possible to be unforgiving in a way that does you more good than harm. We all have mild resentments. So when you are so generous to the criminal as to forgive totally you are condoning his crime. You are treating him as special because he did wrong while you go out and hurt other people for like us all you have your faults.
 
When you forgive a criminal you will trust him if you have really forgiven him. To say his sin does not matter is to logically say that you will not mistrust him any more. The gospel of forgiveness of Jesus Christ wants you to leave yourself wide open to abuse by a person who cannot be trusted. You would be better off with your anger and hate than that. Forgiveness is not for your benefit at all. You condone the crime of the criminal accepting your forgiveness though he knows you are endangering yourself and perverting your mind which knows he is dangerous. When you do that you should condone all his evil. If you still hate his sin you still hate him for you are hating the act that you should condone to be consistent and you are not doing that. Forgiveness is not meant to help you even if it does. If you really loved your enemy you would not be encouraging him to attack forgiving people like you.
 
* We forgive for the sake of the enemy.
 
All the reasons for forgiveness fail. What they really do is excuse evil.

People are alarmed at our deterministic teaching and yet their own teaching implies that it is true and they live like determinists themselves.  Their teaching implies it. Our exploration of forgiveness helps make that clear.
 
Forgiveness is an egoistic act. You deny the evil person the dignity of receiving what they deserve or choose. You do it so that you will feel better. It is a clear proof to psychologists that we are indeed psychological egoists most of the time or nearly all the time at least.