Why it is selfish and cruel for me to think God loves me unconditionally

The doctrine of the Christian faith is that God loves all equally but it does not follow that he forgives all.  This is a gospel of unconditional love but not unconditional forgiveness. The idea is nobody gets forgiveness unless they sincerely ask for it and that entails repentance.  This does not give people what they really want.  Those who want God's unconditional love mean that it is really the unconditional forgiveness they want.

The notion of unconditional love being separate from unconditional forgiveness encourages you to think you love the enemy though you do not forgive them.

When I say God loves me unconditionally I am thinking of myself.  That is obvious.  Aside from the obvious, there are other proofs that I am being selfish.

If I sin and God loves me and if I do not sin and he loves me the same then what about my sin?

Love means he is all about me being well not just in intention but in action. Intention is nothing when there is no action. So if I am bad I just should not be well like a saint should be. It is only keeping a bad thing around. My sin seems to be nothing compared to God's love. That is just another way of watering down evil and telling a dark conscience that it worries too much!

Unconditional love as in God looking after me as if I am perfect is really just pretend.

Unconditional love as in God wishing he could but he cannot for I am bad and caring for me means that others suffer is God tempting himself to ignore what I am. It amounts to being tempted to love others less than me.  He creates the temptation so he does not truly love others.

Unconditional love for a does not necessarily have to be the same unconditional love for b. God may see a as a father and love him unconditionally as a fatherly person. God may see b as a nurse and love her unconditionally as a devoted nurse.  People want God's unconditional love as sinners. They don't care about the father or nurse scenario.  The answer to why is very clear.  They are trying to assuage the fear that comes from living an evil life or doing an evil thing.

If God loves sinners without reasons or motives is that saying he unconditionally loves sinners more because they are sinners than he loves holy good people?  On the face of it they are loved the same.  But you cannot shake off the feeling that there is "more" unconditional when you love a sinner for that is not natural or required.  A present given to a saint and one given to a murderer in someway is harder and it is proof of the unconditional in the way that giving it to the saint is not.

Nobody can become your friend unless you let them have that role and choose them as friends. You make them friends. Yet with God we are told he is unconditionally your friend. But that is forcing. He should not start to care about you or be your friend until you ask him.  Unconditional love that is granted on request is genuinely unconditional for it puts the right to choose to the fore.  It honours you as an agent.

God may love sinners and that means sinners must love sinners too if he binds them to.  Given our adoration for being loved unconditionally, we should be glad to be loved as sinners and see that as proof that we are indeed loved unconditionally! Love sinner means hating sin and hating sin means love sinner. So we should welcome being judged. We do not which shows we cannot expect others to be any happier about our love than our hate for them.

Unconditional love seems to be what you want if you are spoiled and want to be spoiled. You want all sorts of wonderful praises and gifts for no reason at all.

To refute the unconditional love for sinners concept is all you need to show that love the sinner not the sin or love the sinner and hate the sin is just a contrarian passive aggressive lie.