It is important to be out-spoken
It is important to be out-spoken. Be firm and use your tongue constructively.
To keep your tongue in check can be a way of hiding the kind of person you are.
It cheats you. You have the right to be your own person and to let yourself be
known. You don't want people to love and respect the kind of person they think
you are. That only gives you short-term happiness - but as it is not about you,
the real you, it will only lead to trouble. You want to make yourself known as
you really are. Only then will the love and respect be of any benefit to you in
the long-term and forever.
I never know how somebody is going to react to something I say. I would have
said things in the past expecting the person I was engaging with to be very
offended when they in fact thanked me for my candour. I will put myself first
and say what is on my mind for what else can I do?
It is possible to describe somebody as harmful without judging that person. You
could then be stating a fact about them rather than judging them. You can intend
it as stating a fact and not as a criticism.
Confrontation is only a challenge...
Don't avoid confrontation at all costs. You may need the
practice. You can handle it in an assertive way that makes you rise from it not
with less dignity than before but with more! Learn to say no and more
importantly learn to mean no!
You need to establish clear personal boundaries. If you
don't have them, then you are lacking in self-respect. You are therefore
inviting others to disrespect you. Don't stand for anybody crossing those
boundaries. Speak out. This takes away your fear of other people. It helps you
make them happier!
If you fail to handle it, remember that you have not
failed at all. You were a success at trying and making the effort.
Don't try to be liked - like yourself and you will be liked...
Like yourself enough to risk being disliked. If you practice these principles,
you will maximise the number of people who will like you. But don't work to be
liked. If you don't like yourself nobody, or not many, will like you. Do not be
afraid to stand up and speak up for what is right. Why should you be silent in
the face of wrong? Why would you let wrong have a voice instead of right?