Self-compassion, the all-important foundation of all that matters
Self-compassion means you stop punishing yourself for the mistakes you made in the past that you cannot change. You resolve to move on and make a totally fresh start. You be kind to yourself not in spite of any wrongs you have done but because of them and because they are in the past. In spite of is the wrong approach and is really subliminal non-self-compassion hiding as self-compassion. You must neither try to forget or to nurture your negative side but just be aware of it and accepting of it. You must feel connected to other people and be the kind of person that makes them willing to connect with you.
Self-compassion is being kind to yourself rather than critical.
It is about reaching out to others and not being isolated.
It is about accepting your bad side and your bad feelings but not letting them overpower you.
Even if God wants you punished you would tell him to get lost and that you should not be punished and that it is self-compassion you need not that and certainly not him!
Self-compassion opposes concern for having God’s compassion. If you have God’s you do not need anybody else’s compassion least of all your own.
If you had to choose one or the other which would it be? Belief in God or self-compassion? Obviously belief in God has to be out!!
Self-compassion is thus as good as atheistic.
Hate risks souring your outlook in ways you will not even notice. It is painful and can put you in danger. To hate another means you have to hate yourself far more than them for your hate cannot in itself make them suffer but it can and will make you suffer. Thus if you drop the hate and show compassion to yourself you will be able to manifest compassion to others and be a model for self-compassion.
It is easier to put yourself in your former self's shoes than anybody else's.
People are afraid to be compassionate towards themselves. But what is the alternative?
They feel they should give the compassion to others. But you cannot be compassionate to others if you are not compassionate with yourself. Hatred towards yourself makes you a pain.
People fear that self-compassion is about being too soft on yourself for the bad things you have done. You think you need tough love. You feel you don't deserve compassion. But compassion is to help you be a better person inside and out. They should not feel shame if they want to be compassionate towards themselves. If you are skilled at protecting yourself from the truth by using reason to get rid of believing lies or contradictory things the compassion will fall into place. Real compassion and reality are married. Correct thinking methods lead to more accurate and more perceptive compassion for compassion is about a real problem and dealing with it realistically.
Some are scared that in trying to be self-compassionate that they will bring back memories of times when they needed compassion and did not get it. But it is better for that to happen than for you to miss out right now on the blessings of self-compassion.
No God is needed to tell you to be self-compassionate. If you need belief in him as a crutch so that you can be kind to yourself then your self-hate is still there but more subliminal. If he ordered you to be that would be counter-productive. Self-compassion is what matters first and foremost and nothing else. True goodness starts with you and grows in you and is not about God. Belief in God is only a hindrance.
Self-compassion is something you have and take and cherish because there is no God to give you compassion. Let it be your gift to you. In giving yourself that gift you benefit others too.
If you are human then by definition you can die, you can suffer and you can be hurt. Nothing about you is perfect. To exercise self-compassion requires that you recognise yourself as human and that other people are human and in the mess with you. The suffering and danger you experience is not just yours - it is experienced with and by others too.
Self-compassion involves acceptance of what you cannot change.
Accepting things that you can do nothing about, accepting them as they are, does not mean you have given up or given in. You are only realising you can do nothing and refusing to let that upset you or consume you.
Acceptance can be about accepting the unfair things that happen to you. Or to others. Or both.
Accepting what happens to you is one thing. But do you really have the right to judge that when others suffer there is nothing more you can do? Surely some things are so terrible that acceptance is inappropriate?
Human nature cannot and does not accept everything.
