Same-Sex Marriage needs authorising everywhere
Marriage is currently defined as
being between two opposite sex people (no more than that) with the participating
couple satisfying the following conditions:
1. Participants must be mature
2. Participants must freely enter into the relationship
3. Participants must be monogamous
4. Participants must intend a lifetime commitment
5. Participants must treat each other with love and respect
6. Participants must have sex - as in penis in vagina - at least once
7. For Catholics, participants must intend to have children even if they cannot
for intention counts
When you read the rules, you see that most marriages cherry-pick from these
requirements.
Same-sex marriage can be legal and/or religious. Many countries have validated
same-sex marriage. Some recalcitrant religious believers hold that such marriage
when performed in Church is a sacrament. A sacrament is a special blessing from
God that enables the spouses to stay together in love and help each other into
Heaven.
Some religious same sex marriage activists argue that two people having the same
gender and kind of body should not be an obstacle to marriage. They say our
spirits or souls are what matter and they transcend the body. So marriage is not
about two body persons but about two spirit embodiments.
We are led to believe that marriage is defined as the union of a man and a
woman. We are not told that marriage is considered potential until the man and
woman have sexual intercourse at least once. Then it is consummated or made
real. This is degradingly putting more stress on sexual potency and a particular
kind of sex than on love and happiness. It's over legalistic and sets a
biological criterion of morality instead of considering human happiness and
love. It discriminates against straight couples who do not like "normal" sex.
Same sex marriage changes this archaic nonsense and allows for accepting
different forms of sex as consummation. Thus it IMPROVES equality for
heterosexual couples. With same sex marriage, there is no longer any need to
hold that the marriage of a man who lost his penis in childhood is only a
cosmetic marriage.
Marriage strictly speaking is defined as the union for life of a man and woman
who have had penis vagina sex at least once. If that kind of sex never happens
then the marriage is considered unconsummated and invalid. Gay marriage changes
these rules including the consummation one. It means that marriage is made by
love and not sex or at least a specific kind of sex. If same sex marriage does
not require the couple to engage in sexual activity then it discriminates
against other sex marriage which requires sexual activity to become valid.
Same-sex marriage is about love. That is the answer to those who say that if you
change the definition of marriage then why not define polygamy as marriage etc.
Heterosexual marriage without love is never condemned.
The view that same-sex marriage is immoral or invalid and therefore wrong is not
to be respected. We cannot let people ask us to respect evil and injustice.
People fear that recognising same-sex marriage automatically means that the
couple have the right to be considered as adoptive parents. What is wrong with
that? If in principle they can adopt it does not mean in practice that they will
get a child. That depends on factors other than the fact that they are a gay
couple.
It is strange that single gay people are allowed to adopt while those in a
stable, perhaps civil partnered relationship are not!
A child raised by one gay parent who later takes on a partner will not be taken
away. Are we to take adoptive children away from a gay person who starts living
with her or his gay lover who also takes on the role of parent?
Those who oppose adoption by same sex couples treat it like it is child abuse.
Not all have the guts to admit that they regard it as child abuse. But some
admit it. If you are worried about the children, then realise that with same sex
marriage coming in, fewer gay people will marry heterosexually and have
children.
Many gay couples do raise children and how can people say that if marriage
protects the family, that it is right to refuse to let the couple marry?
Opposition to same sex marriage shows no concern for protecting a family where
the parents are the same sex. Yet the opponents insist that marriage is about
protecting the family and is the best and most effective arrangement.
The fear is not about concern for the children. Religious people will pretend
that it is. It is the fear that an archaic and stupid religious rule banning
same sex love-making is being disregarded.
The Church says that same sex relationships are sterile. But science is not able
so far to make them reproductive. But we know that it will one day. Imagine a
lesbian couple in twenty years. A cell can be taken from one woman and used to
make dedifferentiated stem cells that make sperm. The sperm can be used to
fertilise an egg in the other woman. Two men will also be genetic parents of a
baby as well. So it is not true that same-sex relationships are sterile. They
need help in reproduction but they are not sterile.
The Church performs legally valid marriages for the state. Therefore as a
representative of the state, the Church has no right to refuse to perform same
sex marriage in states that recognise it. It cannot be granted a dispensation
from equality law. That would be the state giving it special favour and be
anti-secular. It has to stop doing marriages for the state and do marriages that
are religious but not legal if it wants to be exempt from having to wed same sex
couples.
Marriage is defined by the Christian faith as the lifelong union of one man and
one woman for life to the exclusion of any other sexual partners. The state, if
it takes seriously the distinction between Church and state, may adopt this
definition but will not consider itself bound to it. The state rightly
re-defines marriage to avoid discriminating against same-sex couples.
Can a Christian say, "The state does its thing. My religion does its thing. One
should not meddle with the other. Therefore if the state wants to legalise same
sex marriage then it should even though I consider and God considers same sex
marriage to be an abomination." This would not be saying that the state is right
- it would be like saying that if criminal gangs are not caught then let them
rob until they are. It speaks of their freedom not their right. It is not saying
they really have a right to rob. The Christian then is not watering down his or
her faith or giving consent to what the state is doing.
Accepting same sex marriage defines marriage as a union between two people of
the same or the opposite sex. It does away with the man and woman part of the
definition of marriage which is that marriage is a life-long union between a man
and a woman.
The state if it refuses to even consider re-defining is guilty of breaking its
obligation to accord with democracy. The definition sought by a democratic
society is the one that must be imposed. Religion forbids contemplating a
re-definition. It will try to undermine the separation that should exist between
Church and state by urging the state to use the religious definition.
Religion prefers to encourage the promiscuity it accuses gay people of by its
opposition to gay marriage - though it faints with horror and outrage at
promiscuity. Oh the hypocrisy! The Christian view of marriage is that the man is
the head and the woman is under his authority. Few Christians dare to teach this
today and yet these are the ones opposing the gay right to have a relationship
protected by law.
Religion says, "We condemn discrimination if it's unfair. We do not believe gay
or lesbian people have the right to marry. Thus it is not discrimination to deny
them marriage rights simply because they cannot really marry no matter what they
do or how hard they try. A man and man union is not the same as a male-female
union such as that of marriage."
The religious are saying they have the right to define marriage as a male and
female union and they deny the right of people to have a different definition
based on love. Same sex marriage is based on the idea that love makes a marriage
regardless if the married couple is the same sex or not. It is not about gender
but love. And even if the critics of gay marriage were right and gay marriage is
only a delusional marriage, who cares as long as the couple feels married and in
love? Who cares as long as it improves their lives?
The thought that same sex marriage will weaken heterosexual marriage is strange
for lgbt people are a minority and only a minority of that minority will marry.
It is unfair to regard a civil partner couple that love each other with a record
love as mere civil partners and then to regard a married couple that never had
much love as married. Better for marriages to be seen as equal to civil
partnerships. The only way that can be done is by making the two exactly the
same which means re-defining marriage so that it becomes just another name for
civil partnership. Civil partners should have all the benefits of marriage.