MARRIAGE v FREEDOM or HOW MARRIAGE OPPOSES THE RIGHTS OF THE INDIVIDUAL

 
Marriage is defined by the Christian faith and the state as the lifelong union of one man and one woman for life to the exclusion of any other sexual partners. The state thinks law unites them while believers think it is God who unites them. If there is no God it does no good to imagine that God unites them for you are exaggerating how binding their marriage is. If a marriage is sufficiently binding then trying to make it more binding is just a control freak thing.

MARRIAGE AND CONTROL

The Bible says that man is the master of his wife. He is boss. If a woman won’t accept that then she is distorting the marriage and the husband has a right to seek a separation. He has the duty to do it rather than tolerate the defiance to God. The Church should refuse to marry men and women these days for most women want the marriage to be one of equals and want to go out and work. It would not do the women much harm but would do the Church plenty and that is why I would like to see it done. Marriage implies that somebody has to be the boss for it is an attempt to tie the man and woman together not by love but because of a promise, a contract. The contract is more important than the love. Because the contract is most important and has to be maintained one person has to be boss to keep the peace and keep the contract safe from possible breach. Marriage then degrades one of the partners and it is usually the woman for the man is, according to the Bible, the head of the house.

The Catholic Church says marriage is a sacrament in which God commands the man and woman never to have sex with anybody. A command always implies, "I am better than you so obey me or else!" The Church presents marriage as being about love - that is a totally cosmetic deception.
 
In marriage, it is assumed that the husband or wife should not have sex with anybody else. Does this mean the husband has the right to ask his wife not to sleep with another man? Does this mean he has the right to COMMAND her not to sleep with another man?
 
For marriage to be marriage, it's not enough for God to command the man and wife to be faithful. Somebody in the marriage has to command as well. Traditionally the man represents God's authority.
 
Anybody can ask you not to do something. There is nothing special about marriage if the husband can only ask. Marriage must mean the husband has the right to COMMAND her. We read in Genesis how God made Adam the Lord of Eve and this was her punishment. It says nothing about her commanding him.
 
So husbands can command wives.
 
Trendy unorthodox Christians counter that wives can command husbands too.
 
Today, people see marriage as a union of equals who are compatible and who get on well but neither controls the other and the marriage bond has its limits. For example, a wife can take her husband to court for raping her. She can refuse to donate a kidney to save her husband's life. The husband cannot order her to give him a kidney. Christ's teaching about marriage was stricter than all that. According to the gospels, he said that a man leaves his father and mother and cleaves to his wife so that they are no longer two people but one flesh and this is how it is to stay through life. This implies that the two should behave like they are one body. Marriage makes two people one person in effect. It is not a union of two individuals who just happen to agree most of the time. The context of the times and the teaching of the Bible says that man is the head in a marriage which shows that the woman is just an appendage to his body that he can control. Christianity declared marriage more intimate than the world ever did so it is pure hypocrisy how the Church doesn't obligate husbands to donate kidneys to wives and wives to husbands. The epistles of Paul say a man should love his wife for she is his flesh which underlines the unrealistic and unhealthy and dangerous unity that Christianity posits is an essential component of marriage.
 
MARRIAGE PROMOTES SEXUAL VIOLENCE AGAINST WOMEN

In marriage the man owns the woman’s body and she can’t own his for she is as inferior to him as the Church is to Jesus (Ephesians 5) even though it says husbands must love wives and wives their husbands for Jesus loves the Church though it is his inferior. This ownership idea is a harmful one for if the man owns his wife she never has the right to leave him even if he batters her day and night.
 
The Catholic holds that abortion is murder. That they don't want even the worst user of abortion in jail proves that we should not take the Church seriously. If it really believed abortion was that bad then it would want her jailed at least in the ideal Catholic world. Marriage would imply that if a woman wants an abortion, her husband has the right to stop her. It is not just her body but his. It makes it his business if she wants to abort. In fact, she should be morally allowed to have all the abortions she wishes without telling him or being pressured by him to keep the babies.
 
The rape of a human being is the violation of the sexual integrity of an unconsenting person. It is more than that. It uses the victim as an object. This is how we should see it. But let us focus on the violation aspect. In marriage, the husband owns his wife’s body. It follows then that rape in marriage isn’t as bad as rape outside of it. The flesh belongs to the husband. The rape is only bad in the sense that the woman was abused and hurt and her non-consent treated as irrelevant but the main thing, her right to control her own body, isn’t to be considered. To put it another way, the main thing that makes rape wrong isn’t there and it is that the man doesn’t own the woman’s body. The solution is to forbid marriage. Marriage is anti-women. It is undeniable that it is obvious even without the foregoing information that rape is less bad in marriage so marriage is an evil for it lessens the evil of rape. Marriage gives more permission for rape. Though marriage forbids rape, it gets closer to permitting it. then all that is wrong with rape is that it hurts the wife and if it didn’t it would be good or at least not too bad. The man who believes in marriage will have to ask if he has the right to condemn rape at all. To permit a little evil is impossible. Evil is just evil and evil is what is anti-order. You either permit no evil or all evil.
 
Once the woman makes the vows of marriage she has a duty to let her husband have sex with her. This is nothing more than attempting to pressure the woman to submit to the man. The pressure amounts to the consummation being a kind of lower-level rape. Why would a couple seek the permission of the Church and state to have sex when what they do is nobody else’s business for it does no harm and need not do harm? It would be degrading to look for that permission and even more so when the permission is that you must be tied together for life for having sex once. It is a grudging and puritanical permission. It is a pity of the female because she will be the one who will have to suffer and have the babies and this unfriendly permission is the thanks she gets for her resolve to endure this. The permission implies that it is the business of the people around you and the Church who you have sex with and it is inconsistent with the privacy that we surround sexuality with. It logically implies that sex outside marriage is wrong and a betrayal of humanity and the Church in general. It implies they have the right to refuse permission and that they have the right to decide that marriage should only be between men and women or even that only whites can marry whites which is just as discriminatory. Marriage then is not interested in love and is only there for people to gain power over you with it. It is degrading yourself and your partner despite the façade of the wedding day trimmings to seek the permission of those who do not matter. To marry is to support this vile status quo. Marriage is not love but the desecration of love. When marriage is encouraged in societies that are liberal with divorce it plainly shows that marriage is nothing to do with helping a man and woman stay together. It is about getting permission off society to have sex and you need only have it the once to validate the marriage that shows there is a lack of mutual respect in it.
 
St Paul said that a husband and wife should not deprive one another of conjugal rights for too long. Obviously if a husband and wife are not having sex it is because one or both of them don’t want to. So Paul is saying they should make themselves get on with it. That would only make them feel dirty and resentful. Yet there is no doubt that marriage plots to confer conjugal rights. That is another reason why marriage is not an act of love but a trap.
 
If you really trusted your wife you would not need to put her in bondage through marriage. There is no real love and respect without trust. The connection made between love and marriage is just a scam and a sham. It’s for getting people to do it. They see only the romance and the white church wedding but these things are only accessories to the marriage and they confuse these with the marriage and think that marriage is great. But it is sexist and false. It is one sex trying to manipulate and degrade the other. Moreover, it is the woman who has the hard part. She has to risk her health and happiness by having babies for the man. If she does not have the babies for him as if he comes first then their marriage is only a marriage in name only. The man can walk away but she cannot. Marriage is sexist for it glories in the subjugation of women to men. It is bad enough for women to be subjugated but to glory in it is a big mistake.

Husband and wife must have no secrets at all from one another for the body union signifies the total union that they should have mentally. Nobody goes as far as to say that if the wife is a doctor she should tell her husband everything he wants to know about her patients though it is confidential. But the Church has to say it if it wants to be consistent with its idea of marriage and Jesus did say the husband and wife were one flesh. The epistle says the husband cannot hate his wife for he cannot hate his own body and she is his own body. If body union is that big of a deal and signifies all the Church says, then it should express the unity of minds between husband and wife which can only be done if there are no secrets at all. Marriage then is cultic and brainwashing in nature though that side of it is less obvious today. It is degrading to woman to get marry in a society that still favours men. The man will have the upper hand.
 
If a woman marries a man who is perhaps a long-distance lorry driver and she hardly ever sees him and she hits forty and falls in love with a dream guy she certainly should leave her husband for him. It could be her last chance at happiness. But marriage implies that she should not so marriage is evil and nobody could be as serious about it as they act. But who would be so hard-hearted to believe that?
 
The Christian Church forbids getting turned on by anybody who is not your wife or husband in a marriage recognised as valid by the Church. So if a man and wife get tired of each other sexually they are not allowed to fantasise about other partners or use erotica to get themselves interested in going to bed together. The Church morality can only lead to trouble. They do not encourage marriage for the sake of human welfare and they have the nerve to say that marriage is the backbone of society. Yet it is a fact that one parent families do great – particularly in rural villages. Their achievements are undermined. Anyway who could mean the marriage vows if they accept the confused morality of the Church?
 
Having sex with somebody you don’t love even in the Christian sense is much the same as pornography. The Church encourages this pornography in marriage for couples are not in love all the time and love often fades away. It accepts couples who are not in love as admissible to marriage. Christianity should not be taken seriously. Marriage is meant to legitimise sexual union but when marriage fails how can it be really marriage anymore? The overbearing gospel of Jesus puts law first. It says you are married when you are not because the law of Jesus says so.
 
The romance and sweetness and confetti are accessories of marriage. They are the big attractions and they make people lose sight of the enslavement they are about to make of themselves when they consent to become somebody’s wife or husband.