DOES LOVE GOD TOTALLY FIT LOVE YOUR NEIGHBOUR?
The two commandments, total love of God and love of neighbour, seem to
contradict one another. You are told to love God alone and then to love your
neighbour which seems to mean in addition to God. But reading the commandments
in context erases the contradiction. God alone is to be valued but others are to
be loved in the sense that they are to be treated as God wants them to be and
because God wants them to be.
LIST OF PROPOSED SOLUTIONS TO THE CONTRADICTION
# THE TWO COMMANDMENTS ARE REALLY THE SAME ONE - TO LOVE YOUR NEIGHBOUR IS TO
LOVE GOD
This one is a blatant malicious lie. How can you say you love God just because you love your neighbour when you hate God! Why would the Bible talk about loving God and putting him first if it could settle for just saying you must love your neighbour?
You can hate Ann and love her husband. So why can't you love God and hate a human being? Is it because God says so? Is it because he commands it? So the implication is that he chooses to define it as unloving to him to hate somebody when he commands you to love them. That is just passive aggressive emotional blackmail.
If they are the same then why do we get nothing about
caring for ourselves our others if we focus on the command to love God with all
our powers? And Jesus made it clear that they were two commandments not one.
Love is sacrifice according to most religion and according to Christianity. So
loving your neighbour as yourself means you encourage your neighbour to
sacrifice for God as much as you do, not that you seek pleasure and happiness
for your neighbour as yourself. That is why Jesus said the great commandment to
love God alone was like the one to love the neighbour as oneself and John said
that both loves go together and you cannot have one without the other. It is a
terrible sacrifice to transfer all your natural feelings to God so that you can
love him and to put him before yourself and be willing to suffer horribly if it
is his will so loving your neighbour cannot be pleasant either. The two are
alike in their horrific demands. They agree in the demand for self-giving. The
commandments being like one another does not mean they are the same.
That loving people means nothing more than trying to make them please God
explains why Jesus said that the first greatest commandment was to love God with
everything that is in you and that the second, to love your neighbour as
yourself, was like it. How could it be like it if it were not intended to be
done for God and nothing else? It would be another commandment altogether while
scripture claims that they are the same (1 John 4:7). John told us to love
others for God has loved us (1 John 4:11). It is a testament to human hypocrisy
that nobody is reminded to love God alone before they do anything for us.
The Bible may say that the love of God and the love of neighbour go together. It
does not say that loving your neighbour is necessarily loving God. Indeed, Jesus
said the total love of God was the main commandment while the next most
important one was love of neighbour! True love of God means you agree that if
hypothetically you had to choose between loving God and another person then
choose God. You would have to live and train yourself in such a way that if you
could do that.
# LOVE OF GOD AND LOVE OF NEIGHBOUR - MEANING OF WORD LOVE IS NOT THE SAME. LOVE
OF GOD MEANS COMPLETE SELF-GIVING TO GOD ALONE. LOVE OF NEIGHBOUR MEANS
BENEFITING THEM ONLY. IN YOUR HEART YOU DO NOT LOVE THEM. YOU LOVE THEM ONLY IN
THE SENSE THAT YOU TREAT THEM GOOD.
This one is correct as we have seen already.
Jesus gave the commandment to treat others the way you wish to be treated the
same status as love your neighbour as yourself. It is another way of saying love
your neighbour as yourself. The commandment then is about behaviour towards
others and not how you feel about them. Feelings of love are reserved for God
only.
Luke 17:7-10 (ESV) - 7 Jesus said, "Will any one of you
who has a servant ploughing or keeping sheep say to him when he has come in from
the field, ‘Come at once and recline at table’? 8 Will he not rather say to him,
‘Prepare supper for me, and dress properly, and serve me while I eat and drink,
and afterward you will eat and drink’? 9 Does he thank the servant because he
did what was commanded? 10 So you also, when you have done all that you were
commanded, say, ‘We are unworthy servants; we have only done what was our
duty.’”
That says it all! It proves that if Jesus said love your
neighbour as yourself he meant do good actions and it is not about feeling good
or loving. In fact he commanded that you must feel you are no good.
Karen Armstrong notes in her book Twelve Steps to a
Compassionate Life page 169 that love your neighbour as yourself is to be found
in the book of Leviticus and is therefore a legal rule. It is not about
feelings. "Leviticus is a legal text and any talk of emotion would be as out of
place as it would be in a Supreme Court ruling. In the ancient Middle East,
'love' was a legal term used in international treaties: when two kings promised
to 'love' each other, they pledged to be loyal and to give each other practical
help and support - even if this went against their short-term interest". I would
add that the importance given to the impersonal commandment implies that
feelings of love are unimportant.
Jesus said we must love our enemies - he did not ask us to feel adoration for
them. By love, he meant doing what is good for them. The theologians who say
that Jesus' commandment that we always treat others the way we like them to
treat us is another way of saying love your neighbour as yourself are right. If
so, the love is about how you treat people. You value God not them for God
deserves all your love.
Jesus embraced little children saying, "Whosoever shall receive one of such
children in my name, receiveth me: and whosoever shall receive me, receiveth not
me, but him that sent me" (Mark 9:37). He is showing that he means welcoming a
person in the loose sense. Strictly speaking it is only God that is to be
welcomed. That is how the seeming contradiction between loving God alone and
loving neighbour is reconciled. He is clear that he does not mean, "Whoever
receives a child does not just receive the child but receives me too".
"Receiveth not me", makes that plain.
Only God is loved directly and we honour him indirectly by doing good for
others. That is the perfect paraphrase of the commandments. We love only God and
others benefit and get treated well as a side-effect of our undivided love for
God.
Another way to understand Jesus is that love your neighbour is just popular
language. Just like we say we love chocolate when we don't really love chocolate
- we only like it. It is only persons you can love. If you loved chocolate you
wouldn't destroy it by eating it.
Some of the Christians say that Jesus in commanding such love of neighbour did
not mean that we must be crazy about everybody but only that we must treat them
as we wish to be treated. Some critics think they lie for he said love not
respect. Respect our neighbour as ourselves means we can treat a person properly
despite having bad feelings for them. Suppose we are to have feelings for our
neighbour. Then we must must adore our neighbour as much as ourselves. Do you
really think Jesus would have commanded that rather than command the most
important thing - for us to respect our neighbour?
Jesus commanded that we are to love (agapao in the Greek the gospels were
originally written in) God with all our hearts and strength and to love (agapao)
our neighbour as ourselves. Agapao refers to self-sacrificing and unconditional
love. A good translation would be altruistic love. In other words, it is a love
that is independent of feeling or affection. For Jesus, if you agapao yourself
that does not mean you have great self-esteem at all. It means you treat
yourself in accordance with what God calls good. You love yourself if you die
for God for God commands that you die for him rather than break God's law. There
is nothing consoling about this kind of love of self. Agapao was sometimes used
to describe non-altruistic forms of love in ancient times but the way Jesus says
God must be loved more than yourself certainly proves that he meant altruistic
love. The context tells us what he meant by love. Anyway the other meanings of
the word were loose and careless and rare so Jesus should be taken to mean
altruistic love. The gospels were using the word properly.
Jesus declared that this agapao for God and neighbour was the greatest
commandment. So it is more important to have agapao for your wife than eros,
erotic love or sexual affection. It is more important to have it than to have
the warm liking love (non-sexual affection) that is called philia for your
friend or parent or brother or whatever. These other forms of love must be
rooted out if they endanger agapao or if they are not based on it and taking
their impetus from it.
# THE FIRST COMMANDMENT URGES US TO PUT GOD FIRST AND THE SECOND URGES US TO
TREAT OURSELVES AND NEIGHBOUR AS EQUALS. PUTTING GOD FIRST MEANS WE SHOULD LOVE
OTHERS IN ADDITION TO HIM.
Then it would read, "You shall put God first in all things. You shall love your
neighbour as yourself." But instead it reads that we must love God with all that
we have and love him completely. Putting God first is not loving him completely.
There will be part of you kept for loving other than God.
Jesus is saying we must love God not with some of our energy, most of our energy
but ALL our energy. In other words, everything we do must be solely motivated by
what pleases God. It is all about pleasing him. When you help the sick, it is not
done to help the sick but to honour God. It is done for God.
By implication, we surrender our right to be autonomous moral agents. We must
ignore our natural feelings that make us want to care for the sick even if it is
against God's will. We must let God make the decisions about what we should or
shouldn't do. That is why the commandment calls God Lord, meaning boss.
Jesus said you are to love God as Lord with all your
heart and this was the biggest commandment. The second tells who to love less -
our neighbour. It is said that to love your neighbour more than God means you
will hurt the neighbour. That is nonsense. If you really love your neighbour you
will not hurt him or her. The commandments are telling us that God is to be
valued with all our powers. Our neighbour is to be treated as ourselves but
because he says so and because we value him.
# LOVE YOUR NEIGHBOUR AS YOURSELF IS LOVING GOD BECAUSE
YOU ONLY LOVE WHAT GOD DOES THROUGH THE NEIGHBOUR
This understanding arises from the Christian doctrine of grace. When a person
turns to God in faith and repentance that person is washed from sin in the blood
of Jesus Christ. Because of that the apostle Paul claimed that Paul was alive no
more but Jesus was alive in Paul. He was saying that any good in him is Jesus'
good not his. So to love another person is to love God. But this means that you
are loving the God in the other person not the other person. It is essentially
the same as the view that the love of God means valuing God and love of
neighbour means benefiting the neighbour.
Conclusion: Love of God and love of neighbour. The love in either case is not
meant in the same sense. Loving God means valuing God. Loving your neighbour
means obeying God in relation to what he says concerning how he or she should be
treated. In other words, you are using your neighbour to serve God. Loving God
with all your heart and loving your neighbour as yourself would mean that you
love your neighbour not in addition to God but because of God and for God.
A God who does not want us to help others because we have feelings of affection
for them is totally unworthy of worship. Jesus' teaching about the extreme
importance of loving God implies that we must believe, "If God does not exist
all is permitted and nothing matters." Anybody who thinks like that is a fake no
matter how many good works they do. They are saying that works of compassion and
charity are nothing if there is no God! They insult the good atheists of this
world. They say that there is no morality if there is no God which means that
those weak in faith will be morally dubious or morally feeble. They insult the
good people who just barely believe in God.
Love of neighbour, in the view of Jesus, means making a person good in the eyes
of God but not being warm towards or valuing that person. So, if selflessness is
love then love means making others selfless, making them sacrifice and die daily
for God. So love of neighbour is not feeding the hungry or clothing the naked
who are dying of cold or anything like that – they are only a means of luring
people into the trap. It is converting them to slavery to God. We can’t say that
we have to look after their needs so that they might be more open to the need
for serving God without interest in anything other than his will for that is
like helping people to sin in order to put them off sin. The solution would be
to help them but to keep reminding them of your motive which is to bring them to
consecrate themselves to God. The focus has to be kept on God.
Christ said that you must love your neighbour as yourself. This does not
actually say we must love ourselves. It only assumes we do love ourselves. It
does not indicate approval for loving yourself. Loving yourself is so natural
that it cannot be commanded. It is as absurd and impossible as commanding your
dog to breathe. Even those who have bad feelings towards themselves love
themselves - they just have warped self-love. If God commands you to love
yourself then that is like bullying. Only a control freak would want to give you
permission to breathe! Only a control freak would order you to love yourself.
If you are only using your neighbour to please God then you can't be said to
love your neighbour in the heart sense. You love only in the sense that love is
working for the wellbeing of others whether you care about them or not.
The New Testament Jesus and the apostles frequently spewed hatred and venom
towards those who disagreed with them in religious matters. If you submit
yourself to God and love him first and above all people, that means that hurting
people is better than hurting God if there is a choice. That being so, to love
God like that implies disdain for people. Jesus said that we must put God's ways
first so he has to tell us how we are supposed to love other people. It is
loving them to treat them as God wants them treated be it stoning them to death
as God commanded in the Old Testament. Or approving of them going to Hell
forever or of Jesus giving them abuse as in the New Testament. God believes you
have to be cruel to be kind. It is Christian doctrine that you are better to
catch a physical disease that torments you for all eternity than to commit a sin
such as adultery! Sin to them is the greatest evil. Christians who do not
practice cruel love are not true Christians. Do you see the point? Do you see
how Christian love does not forbid cruelty and verbal and physical abuse? It is
possible to be harsh and stern and intend to be loving. And indeed if we are as
depraved as the Bible says we should be.
If you love your neighbour as yourself you will feel as traumatised by their
traumas as they are. You won't live long with all that stress. Jesus certainly
wanted to put that burden on us for he didn't say, "Always respect your
neighbour". That would require us to look after people and cheerfully help them
when we can but would not be urging us to treat them as if they were us. It
would not be urging us to have the same agony as them when they suffer the
trials of life.
People do not like to be loved for their money - even if a bit of the love one
has for you is about your money you will find your trust diminishing in the
person. Nobody wants others to interpret love neighbour as yourself as meaning,
"Love others but try to get something back for it." And Jesus excluded that
meaning for he made it clear we are to love God for his own sake totally. Loving
him to get happiness or to get something back for yourself would be against
that.
If you expect people to love you as much as they love themselves your life will
be full of disappointment and anger. If you expect you to love others as
yourself then frustration and loss of self-esteem will be your reward.
You might be told, "For your own peace of mind, do not worry about it for you
cannot change them." But if you give off the message that you don't expect love
from others you will get what you expect. And you would be likely to expect that
those who love you will stop doing it.
St Francis knew that what Jesus meant by love your neighbour as yourself was not that you are to love yourself but to love rather than be loved. Such love cannot be given to yourself but only to another. A Catechism reads, "Q. But why is there no commandment of love to ourselves? A. Because normally we love ourselves naturally, and without any commandment. No man ever yet hated his own flesh, but nourishes it and cherishes it. Ephes. 5:29".