It is easy to see that if people say God sends suffering to others they are condoning it. But what if they suffer themselves?

 

It is possible to suffer so much that you end up seeing yourself as a sufferer and oddly you get some satisfaction from that.  Some people feel that they gain dignity by identifying with their condition for example depression or cancer or whatever. That is harmful over time for an illness needs to be seen as an alarm bell and a cry for a solution. It leads to them telling themselves that they feel better than they do.  They think they are not as sick as they are.

 

Atheists can do that too.  Most who do it are not really religious - maybe a bit.

 

It is obvious why faith in God would be a catalyst for developing this fake dignity in suffering and because of suffering.  Suffering is declared sacred then and special and even a gift!!  It is easier to identify with it then for you think it is God's loving will.

 

Mother Teresa said she admired a lad in agony who did not want to die for he wanted to suffer for God. A truly holy lad might want to suffer as long as God needed him to and certainly would not be wishing God needed to let him suffer worse or longer.  Our lad is just a masochist. 

 

Your talk about God being with you in the middle of your suffering could mean:

-That it is okay for God to let you suffer even for nothing as long as he is with you. In other words, it is not suffering or depression or anything else that is bad but just being unloved. That is perverted dishonest insane logic. Religion teaches that if hypothetically Satan plunges the universe into a place of eternal, horrendous and complete and unimaginable despair and suffering at least God still loves us.

Those who say that God is with you in your suffering are suggesting that maybe if you don't sense it then it is your fault. If you are depressed, you will blame yourself.  They are saying that as long as God loves you and that love does you no good and  you have to settle for just knowing you are loved you should shut up.

 

In fact religion says God alone matters or comes first meaning that all you must care about is his love and not about getting anything out of it.  That is warped for we do not appreciate love just because it is love.

-That he has a plan and is with you to help make things better for as many as possible and maybe for you as well. The truly good person will not then worry about how the plan or believing in it is going to benefit her or him. It will be about others. Trying to help matters more than successfully helping. Thus taking pleasure in life should be a side-effect of doing good and have nothing to do with what good is about. If God has a plan, it does not follow that you will benefit from it. You are meant to be glad that God is doing the best thing possible even if it does not involve you.

 

The plan thing amounts to telling a sick or dying person that they are not important enough or good enough or useful enough for God to give them a better place in his plan. If you really love somebody you want the plan to be about them. And nobody has the right to imply what faith in God replies. Faith in God is not important enough for that.

 

Either way, you are saying that God's role and responsibility for your suffering (and by implication others) should be condoned.
 
IT MAKES FAITH YOUR BUSINESS!
 
The person who agrees with God letting awful things happen to you or to an innocent baby has no right unless they sincerely would take the suffering themselves if they could. Their saying they can do it is easy. Too easy.
 
The person who believes in God necessarily risks condoning evil or actually does condone it but is not giving it away. That makes it your business for it is your suffering or potential suffering they have the bad attitude towards. They are the ones who would vote in the service of faith, who would call themselves your friend and claim to love you. Confront and challenge them. Do not demean yourself by letting it go!

Finally

 

To argue that God uses your suffering to do great good means you have a high opinion of your suffering and its value. You are soothing the pain and fear with pride and arrogance.  That leads to a poor attitude to the suffering of others.